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Day #5 - Movies
If any knows our family well, they are aware of the fact that we love movies. Recent ones, olds ones, comedy, suspense, action, chick flicks, animation, fiction, true stories, documentaries. Well, the list is long.
My sisters and I have a connection when it comes to movies, we have the same preferences. We watch to movies, we sometimes read the books, we make comments and we even wait to watch some movies together. Harry Potter, for example. We read all the books (several times), wacthed all the movies and on the last two movies, Ana and I waited until Nani (Elaine, the other sister) got back from São Paulo so we could watch together. The love for the motion pictures is intense.
We know lots of movies, we know the names of some directors, the names of several actors and actresses (sometimes, the nome of their spouses, children, the scandals) and the movies or series in which they have been. Movies are more than just entertainment.
Yesterday, I explained Gui who Andy Garcia was. C'mon, it is ANDY GARCIA!!! It's not his fault though. I think we're a little hooked on these things, but it was very funny. Since Nani is in São Paulo and Ana is gone on her mission, I was left with no movie partners. No offense, but it's not the same thing.
It's a wonderful feeling to have somebody who gets you, who gets the jokes in the movie, that cries with you or laughs at you because you're crying; somebody who is the only one to laugh in the movie theater when no one else thinks the scene was funny; somebody who makes that moment into memory, that makes the best out of an experience that should be simple: watching to a simple movie.
It's the simplicity transformed into ecstasy that bonds us together!!
Day #4 - Sunday and Father's Day
It is weird feeling waking up on a sunday morning and not having to wake Carol (Ana Carolina) up, who, every now and then, was late. There was no line to take a shower, no catwalk (or arguement) to see which clothes we would wear nor her despair for me to arrange some clothes for her. We used to joke that I'd go to the mission with her just stay inside her wardrobe and hand her in the clothes she should wear that day. Besides, this sunday is Father's Day.
Like my father said, he was "daughterless" today. Look at that! I'm the "only one left" and he takes me for granted ;) but he's right. When one has three daughters that fill the house and suddenly you see yourself with only one, it's difficult to digest. Mom and I gave him the gifts. He loved the ties that Ana and I bought and the perfum that he bought so mom could give him ;) Even with his visible joy we could see that it was not the same thing. I told him that Ana had written a Father's Day letter for him, but that she didn't give anybody nor said where it was. He is so anxious to receive it.
Dad loves us a lot and he is very jealous. Wow, it is even too much sometimes ¬¬' and even though he thinks he's tough he's a real cry baby on the inside. When Ana, a 7-yeard-old or 10-yeard-old girl, told him she wanted to serve on a mission, he quickly said she didn't have to. Being the father of three girls, he never thought he'd actually send one of us to a mission. He might have prayed a lot so she would forget about it.... I guess it didn't work.
What has comforted us is the promise made to Mosiah when his children went on their mission to preach to the Lamanites: that many would believe on their words and that they would have eternal life; and the Lord would deliver them out of any danger.
Ana is in safe hands!
Day #3 - (no) News
It has only been three days that Ana went to the MTC but it seems like an eternity for us at home. Everything is so more quiet. It's even spooky sometimes but like any situation, there is good side: my parents and I have been relying on each other more. The blessings of Ana's missions are already falling upon our heads.
Back to what I was saying, it's only been three days and we've had one piece of news: she forgot to take a watch =) This is the Ana I know. The funniest is that she took a ginourmous suitcase, but this is for another post.
Yesterday, when I had lunch with Gui's family (my boyfriend), they made lots of questions about how they could communicate with Ana. My mother-in-law almost had a heart attack when I said that only by mail for those who were not family and letters and emails for family members. As they are not LDS, I think this scares them a little bit. She was worried that Gui would "dare" to serve a mission too. They are very close and he is the youngest which increases the "momma's boy" factor. (he'll kill me when he reads this LOL)
She's right about something though: it's very difficult not to hear from her. Missionaries have an specific day during the week in which they can answer letters or emails. It's called P-day. This thursdays, I already sent her an email. I wish I could be there and live everything with her, help her, comfort her, make her laugh. It's odd how everything I read, speak, write, listen to or think is related to Ana.
We miss her a lot but everything has its purpose and somethings go beyond our understanding.
Day #2 - Acceptance
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a swiss psychiatrist, when we love a loved one, when someone goes away (because of a break-up or distance) or we go through some crisis, we always have a MOURNING period.
Elisabeth established the following steps of this process:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
I didn't feel anger, but I joked with Ana every now and then that I wouldn't take her clothes without asking anymore or that if she loved me, she wouldn't leave me. They were bargains out of jokes but I admit that I wished, unconciously, that she accepted my offers.
The depression period, that will to cry, not leave bed, stay alone with myself with no one around, just soaking the sadness up for a while, was quick. It's passed
I accepted the fact that THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, that life goes on for me, for her and for everybody. I accepted the fact that, just like she's going to help and meet lots of people there, I'll do the same here. I feel connected to her somehow.
She's happy and it makes me happy.
Day #1 - The Farewell
152 until the papers came back
1090 hours until the farewell day
95 minutes until we got to the airport
60 seconds to the oficial good-bye
It's the companionship! I didn't mind washing the dishes or cleaning as long as I had one of my sisters with me. It's missing somebody that makes everything worse, mainly if that person is your best friend!!!
It was hard saying good-bye at the airport. Eu told myself that I wouldn't cry. Meu boyfriend even wanted to make it a bet saying that I would definitely cry. Of course I didn't bet because I knew I'd lose =P
I never gave too much thought to what would happen to me after Ana went on a mission. After all, who likes to suffer in advance? However it was harder to face reality. While everyone was waving through the window as she got onto the airplane, I just sat on a chair nearby and stared nowhere. I think I was kind of hoping it was a dream. But it wasn't. I got home and lied down on her bed, trying not to think too much.
Besides de sorrow (not for her leaving but for not having her with me), I'm happy for her decision. She was so bright, radiant and beaming a light that she's the only one to possess. That clumsy way she has but at the same time, joyful and clever.
I know time will fly. Meanwhile, I stay here waiting anxiously my best friend's comeback.
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